A few years ago our family faced a pretty horrific tragedy. We saw the child of dear friends do the unimaginable and end up in jail. It was in this moment I learned the true meaning of unconditional love.
Unconditional love does not mean we condone all the actions of our child. It does not mean we allow unacceptable behavior. And it certainly does not mean our child does not need to be held accountable for their actions. But it does mean that through all of those things we stand by, support and love our child.
Make sure you tell your kid, “I’m your mom (or dad) and you know you can tell me anything. Nothing you could do would ever make me stop loving you.”
This is such an important message for our kids to hear. Not just once, or twice but repeatedly throughout all of childhood. Messages we instill in them during their elementary school years become more important foundations as they pull away a bit in middle school and high school.
Being a safe place for our kids to confided improves their confidence, teaches them the importance of sharing hard things (with trusted confidants) and gives us an opportunity to guide them in building self advocacy skills.
Since going through this most heart wrenching experience I have continued to tell my kids that no matter what I will always love them. I believe even if we don’t like or agree with their actions, feelings or behaviors it doesn’t mean we don’t love them.
Childhood is hard and messy, just like parenting. If your kid is struggling and you are struggling trying to figure out the next right step and the best way to support your child, I invite you to jump on a free 30-min call with me. I will offer you some support and help you figure out the next right step.
You can schedule your call here https://calendly.com/maphoffmann/freemrsession.
With respect and gratitude,